. blogging blues .
Alright, Ky, go ahead and say hello to all of our beautiful readers…
"Hello, beauti.... wait, Momma, I think I blinked... Once more. Once more. I'll get it this time for sure."
Dork.
"Hello, beautiful readers! I hope your noses are cold, and your tails are wagging!"
. – . – . – .
Hello beauties, and happy Wednesday. Has it really been four days since I last posted? Eep. I’ve gotten so used to posting every other day, that a four day absence makes me feel like I haven’t blogged in forever. At least, like I haven’t physically blogged in forever… mentally, it’s a whooooole other story.
See, mentally, I’m basically blogging all. the. time. Even if I’m not physically sitting at the computer typing out a post, commenting, or answering e-mails (phew!), chances are that blogging is infiltrating my thoughts in one way or another. No matter what I’m doing, something blog related always seems to be on my mind…
“Hmm… what can I write about today? Come onnnn; think…”
“Ooo this is a pretty creative dish; I should probably make it look nice and take a picture before I dig in…”
“Oh, God… Google Reader is going to kick my butt when I get home…”
“Sorry X, I can’t go out and do Y; I have to finish up this post.”
That last one is the worst one of them all, but I’d be lying if I said that I’ve never passed on life out there in favor of fulfilling some sort of perceived blogging duties. Or, if I did end up actually choosing to go out and participate in life, I wasn’t able to fully enjoy it because I wasn’t “all there”; my thoughts would constantly drift back to the blog world in one of the ways that I mentioned above, and a certain amount of guilt and anxiety would always accompany those thoughts.
Meal times have become a way for me to catch up on blogging. When I'm at home, I eat 90% of my meals and snacks by the computer, and during those times, I'm pretty much always either commenting, answering e-mails, or writing a post...
... and it kind of sucks because it usually means that I'm not fully able to enjoy delicious meals like this chocolate Vitamuffin yogurt mess, because I'm too busy focusing on something else.
It. is. exhausting.
Seriously; I’m getting worn out.
Whereas I used to actually enjoy blogging (I think?), now the very thought of sitting down at the computer and opening WordPress, Google Reader, or even my e-mail makes me shudder… I’m probably being a little bit over-dramatic here, because it’s not like I hate blogging; I actually enjoy it quite a bit. What I don’t enjoy is feeling like I can never truly disconnect from it; like I can never have a real break and focus entirely on other things because blogging is always on my mind in some way.
Does that make me sound crazy?
Sometimes I honestly feel like I’m headed that way…
Looking through my last few posts, you would probably think that I eat nothing but sweet snacks. While my insatiable sweet tooth would love for that to be the case, I DO actually try to keep things balanced and eat savory meals as well... and while they may not be AS delicious, they're still pretty darn good; especially when they consist of savory oats buried under far too many toppings.
Maybe I’m just taking this whole blogging thing a little too seriously. Actually, let me rephrase that. I know I’m taking this whole blogging thing too seriously, but I honestly don’t know how else to take it. Everything that I do has to be done well, and to the best of my abilities; I either give it my all and exhaust myself in the process, or I give it nothing and abandon it without looking back.
I blame perfectionism and a black and white attitude; the two things that give me trouble in so many other areas of my life as well… But, try as I might, I just can’t seem to find that fabled middle ground. Does anyone have a map? Directions? GPS?
My favorite dinners as of late have been a mish-mash of ingredients all mixed together in one big bowl. This one contained quinoa cooked in veggie broth with a bit of broccoli and dried cranberries mixed in, scrambled eggs (1 egg, 2 whites, shrooms, spinach), steamed broccoli, and some avocado.
I’ve been wrestling with my relationship with blogging for quite some time, and it seems like I’m no closer to finding something that works for me now than I was back when these feelings first started. I’ve already cut down on how often I post, and that’s certainly helped take some of the pressure off, but it hasn’t helped silence the nagging thoughts that I have when I’m away from the computer; the thoughts that want to draw me back into my swivel chair and tell me that I should be doing something blog related, because there’s always something blog related to do. It’s like a task that you never get any closer to finishing, no matter how much work you put into it. Consequently, it’s a “to-do” that’s always looming over your head…
Gah! #$%@^&!
Okay, Amanda; just breathe…
Remember how I said that I kind-of, sort-of forgot about cheese for a while there? Well it's definitely been in the forefront of my thoughts lately. In addition to enjoying it in baked pasta, grilled cheese sandwiches, and straight up plain jane, cheese has once again become my favorite topping for pizza. Nothing beats its ooey-gooey, melty goodness.
1… 2… 3… Breathing…
I enjoy writing, I enjoy photography, and I enjoy commenting and being a part of this community. That’s all fine and good. What’s not all sunshine and rainbows is how seriously I take all of these things… It’s not a race, it’s not a matter of life and death, and it doesn’t have to be done perfectly.
I know this, but actually getting myself to ease up and start applying that knowledge? That’s a whole other story. Nevertheless, it’s a story that I’m going to have to start living, otherwise I fear that I may just get so frustrated one day that I’ll say “to hell with it all”, delete my blog in the heat of the moment, and vanish without a trace.
Poof. Just like that…
And because no post would be complete without a picture of breakfast, here's a bowl of baked apple pie oats that I enjoyed some time within the past few days. I actually made this bowl in an effort to keep myself from OD'ing on chocolate pudding oats, because I've been eating them for the past week or so, and to burn out on such a delicious meal would be a tragedy indeed. Crisis averted.
… and then I know that I’d miss it. Besides, ditching my blog and running away from the problem wouldn’t be any kind of solution at all; perfectionism is something I struggle with immensely, and if I don’t work on doing something about it now, it’s just going to keep affecting me in anything and everything I try to do in the future.
Sigh.
Q: Why do you blog? Does it ever feel more like a chore than an enjoyable hobby? And do you experience guilt/anxiety if you don’t post or comment regularly?
Filed under: Uncategorized | 51 Comments
Well, I blog in my head a lot too. and mostly, I’m too lazy to write a lot of it down and actually post it. I love blogging and I couldn’t care less about comments personally. Its wonderful to get feedback, but I always sucked at journaling and this is the closet thing to it and it sure feels good. I want to write a book which got me to start blogging, but I feel I do it for other reasons now. I feel like I have “blog” friends that truly feel closer than some of my real friends. Some, not all, blogs are true insights to someones soul that may not be seen in their real day to day lives. Sometimes, I feel my readers know the real me better than my real life friends. I for one love your blog and I missed you. but dont fret, I dont expect a post every day. Just make it genuine, quality over quantity.
I take pictures of my food even when I know for a fact I’m not going to post them.
I can totally relate to this post!!!!!! I too suffer from “black and white thinking” and perfectionism – since i started blogging and regularly following others blogs i too feel guilty if i don’t post often enough or if i didn’t comment on someone’s post for the day. They say when something becomes a chore that you once enjoyed doing then i feel that you should reevaluate the situation.
Amanda – you should never feel guilty about not blogging or that a post isn’t good enough!!!! I cannot fully tell you how much your blogging has aided me in my process towards a healthier self!!! Even if you only posted once a month im sure all of your faithful followers would understand i would!!! I would never want this experience to start to feel like a chore for you or if if at any times made you feel guilty!!!
It is wonderful to hear that you have been living and enjoying life – you truly are a person i admire and how you have overcome your struggles is TRULY an inspiration!!!! Not only are your posts uplifting and positive but your amazing food creations as well as photographs are things i look forward to reading!!!
P.S. Love your pizza – i just had homemade pizza tonight with roasted veggies and lots of cheese!!!!!!
Hope you have a great night Amanda!!!!!
I totally support long breaks and unplugging from the virtual world. I actually don’t photograph anything I eat anymore for the same reason that you alluded to – I want to grant my meals my full commitment and attention. I don’t really have blogging guilt, because I only blog when the compulsion strikes. I do journal a LOT, and when I think it might be worthy, I transfer some of those choo choo trains of thought to my blog. Do what feels right to you. Absolutism is a wicked beast (and I also know it all to well), but maybe that’s what blogging will bring to you: not only the catharsis of thinking out loud, but a vehicle for learning a better sense of balance. You are such a prolific and beautiful writer, and I know that we would be better for more words like yours, but I wholeheartedly support a full and authentic life for everyone, so blog more, blog less, just blog however it feels right to you
Oh Amanda, Amanda, AMANDA!
Just kidding.. I really do understand the seriousness of this post.
If you delete this log, you better have a better excuse than simply the fact that you got fed up
I think it’s really great that you summed everything up right here. I’ve wanted to get stuff like this off of my chest countless times but I’ve never actually written about it. Every single word is something that I can relate to, and I’m afraid if I wasn’t working so hard right now and training Rayne, I would be in the exact same position that you are in.
I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve forwent going to the barn to stay home and blog. I’ve contemplated leaving my job, so that I would have more time to blog… which is obviously ridiculous.
Blogging is supposed to be a passion, not an obsession. Given our addictive and obsessive compulsive personalities, it’s not a wonder that so many have become attached to blogging. That doesn’t mean that your relationship with it can’t change though… you said yourself that you have already made a bit of headway, and hopefully the rest with calm down on it’s own time.
<3 Tat
First of all, your dog is so cute!!! I love dogs :]
I totally understand your comment about blogging anxiety. I sometimes feel like I should be blogging or commenting or reading etc. but those feelings aren’t as severe as yours seem to be. I don’t know if this would help, but maybe take a week off of everything blog related. I would be sad, and miss you dearly, but that might help you. I enjoy reading your posts, but if you don’t like writing them then they aren’t doing their job. Their job is to make YOU happy, and you know that. I know you will find out a balance.
Scott
I am melting. Kaia is gorgeous. She looks like she has so much wisdom with her age – and lots of love
I am very glad you’ve been living and loving life, though – because that comes first.
And I feel like I could have written this post a couple months ago. I didn’t necessarily grow to hate it – but just felt overwhelmed with “gotta get a post up! gotta get a post up!” and “gotta read blogs now!” It was like I’d finish dinner and rush to post. I’d enjoy it – but it got old, you know? Once I started with Teddie, though, I became more lenient, told myself it’s perfectly fine to not post every night – and what do you know, it’s like I WANT to post every night now! But if I don’t feel up to it, I’m not going to. If I felt “boring,” but have one neat thing and just want to blog, maybe I’ll do the recipe or an informative post, you know? I’m still working on not feeling at least a little bit guilty when I can’t get through google reader, though :X It HAS become a great outlet for me, though. I love the social aspect of it more than anything, I think.
So, I definitely know where you’re coming from when it comes to feeling the pressure – but I hope you’re able to come to terms with the fact that you should HAVE to feel pressured to post, and it’s totally up to you what you even say and when. For some reason, just telling myself that made things more relaxed. I had to remind myself WHY I started to blog, first and foremost: because it’s FUN! I had forgotten that important tid-bit for a little while there, but am glad I;ve since rediscovered it
I’m not really that way with blogging, but I am definitely like that with studying and school work. When I’m in school, I can’t read for pleasure, at all. I feel like I should be doing something more “productive” like studying. I can’t sit and watch a movie. I can’t mindlessly watch TV with my roommates. I have a really hard time being spontaneous when I feel really jam packed with school work, which is all the time. I wear myself thin sticking to my rigid study schedules and when I’m not studying, I worry about fitting in MORE studying time. I am SO scared to make anything less than an A and it drives me crazy! Ugh, it’s ruining my college experience, but I can’t seem to get myself out of this rut! So yes, I know exactly how you feel – I apply these crazy rules to a different activity. Hopefully we’ll both relax some over the coming months
I blog because I like to share
I also like to learn about other people, and stay connected with the friends I’ve made.
I know how you feel, but you gotta let go of that
It’s okay if you don’t read every single post, or blog all of the time. I myself can’t be at the computer for too long. I have to read and write my posts in increments lol. May I suggest maybe doing a series of guest posts on your blog? Maybe that will lessen the stress 
XOXO
http://www.ohonemorething.wordpress.com
Yep. I totally “get” this post. A lot of the time, I find myself writing a post “in my head”. When I read this post by Jenny at http://www.pbandjenny.com it really really resonated with me. I only post every 2-3 days….but I find myself constantly “writing things in my head”. I try to journal, but it never works for me. BUT I dislike this angle of blogging. The thing is that I cannot get rid of it!
I almost truly feel like leaving it alone for 21 days even (how long it takes to adopt a habit apparently). Then, if the pressure is off, cool..if not, then just don’t post.
I never takes pics of food anymore cause when I sit to eat, I just want to eat. No big deal. I watch TV when I eat and enjoy that ( I do not blog or read blogs while I eat: I would rather watch a silly tv comedy that draws me into life and funny life things vs. look at people’s food and compare my eats to them!).
But yes, I feel the same way and it drives me nuts. I think actually I have been using blogigng as a way to shield from my real problems (life, finances, etc). Like I DO NOT ignore them, but it gives me a time to try to “forget and pretend it is all normal”….but not sure if its a good thing!
I think though that if i have a “break” it means i have to go no writing AND no reading….i think continuing to read will still make me always think on it. So I am musing on going cold-turkey.
Sometimes I do get anxious about posting and commenting enough. But I always make myself take a step back and look at the BIG picture… and LIFE is what’s important! Not blogging! Granted, I loooove your blog, but what’s most important is that YOU love it.
This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. I haven’t been blogging for very long, and I don’t have nearly as many people reading or commenting on my blog. But I still feel pressure sometimes from it. I think it is hard to find a balance because you enter the blogworld and suddenly there is so much that you can do and be a part of that can actually be really overhwhelming and time consuming. I have a hard time figuring out where to draw the line soemtimes. Lately I have been trying to take it LESS seriously and just write whatever the heck is on my mind, even if no one gets it or cares about it. That way I don’t have to worry about taking the right picture or saying the right thing.
I think you have so much talent with your writing and photography, which probably adds to the pressure. So I just want to say that if you ever want to post a less-than-perfect meal or just write up a quick post to vent some frustration, that would be more than okay with me! In fact, I think I would enjoy it
I totally understand your frustrations with blogging. I am still relatively new to the blogging scene, but I do feel a certain pressure to keep posting and commenting, even when I am worn out. It is definitely the perfectionism kicking in…I must be the best at everything!
Maybe this represents a great opportunity for you to let go of the black and white thinking. You know that all of us in the blogging community will love you regardless of how often you post and comment. We will all be here waiting for the exciting recaps of life in the “real world.”
Blogging can be so exhausting! I started posting daily and I am now down to every 2nd or 3rd day because everything else in my life was suffering. I love blogging and I love reading blogs but it doesn’t pay me and it certainly doesn’t make dinner or give Maya a bath. I had to stop reading some blogs and commenting so much, as much as I hated having to do that!
You are so talented that I hope you don’t stop blogging altogether. Maybe just blog when you have something to write about, regardless of when that is? There shouldn’t be an exact formula, just do what is right (as Jaya said above).
i think you should try and have more mindful meals (i.e. sans computer)… do you actually feel like youre able to savor and enjoy each bite? meals are supposed to be a time of social relaxation and self-care. we should revel in it and explore how our body feels!
hope you have a good ngiht
What an interesting post. I think I’ve been struggling with this same thing–this constant mental “blogging.” It’s a toss-up, because I truly enjoy blogging and want to maintain my blog, but I don’t want blogging to consume my life, as I’m afraid it’s starting to do (or at least heading in that direction). If I wasn’t so young and wasn’t still in school, it wouldn’t be such a big deal, but I want to enjoy my youth, not be a slave to some–dare I say it?–trivial website.
What a great post! I feel the exact same way of blogging! I need to find a happy medium:)
jenna
I honestly just think I started because I admired so many ED-recovery bloggers so much – it just looked really cool and I wanted to try it out. Actually, I think emulating ED recoverer bloggers was sort of a roadblock for me. The online community gave rise to a lot of my disordered thoughts: I don’t think I would have become quite so “health”-obsessed if I didn’t read about bloggers shying away from salt and white carbs and so on. Also, I used to think that the most successful type of ED recovery was maintaining a low but minimally viable weight – when in fact, that is the LEAST successful route. But it did give me a chance to reflect on certain things, while it lasted, and I do still have things I’d like to be able to blog and share occasionally.
Maybe you should give yourself a break in terms of commenting and emails? You could take your email address down, which sounds a little cold, but obviously your having a life takes priority! And you could be less vigilant about commenting, too: why not cut back to only posting on the blogs of the blog friends you know and love the most, and comment only once every few posts?
I blog for a few reasons: to write (because I enjoy it, and enjoy getting creative with my writing), to connect with others, and to get people thinking about food issues. (Which I hope to focus on more and more as time goes on.)
At one point I read that it’s good for new bloggers to post every day, but haven’t liked the pressure that comes with it. So I’m planning to cut back on posts in the coming weeks instead. For balance.
Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, as the saying goes. If blogging is something you are truly passionate about and want to keep in your life, then things will work out, and you will find a way to make that balance work.
It’s hard to not feel an obligation to something like a blog; you get readers, they comment, you feel the need to add more and keep up the interesting content… It easily can become something you NEED to do, as opposed to something you WANT to do.
Everything you write has always spoken to me in some way or another. I’ve never gotten to the stage of blogging as you have: you write so well and elegantly, and you’re interesting! My blog is just a way for me to get out emotions I feel I can’t express into my ‘real’ world. To each their own, though.
Figure out what blogging actually means to you, before you make any rash decisions. We’d all be absolutely devistated if one day, Seek ceased to exsist, but you have to keep in mind that this is your blog, and it’s a part of your life. So ultimately, you can do whatever you want!
None of that made sense, but what you said has all made sense.
Blogging isn’t your whole life, and your whole life isn’t blogging. That balance wil be there somewhere, it just might take some time to find it.
But you will find it.
Because you’re Amanda, and you’re Amazing.
Blogging never feels like a chore for me. I only blog when I have something I really want to blog about. It may be a few times a week or it may be once a week. I know if I tried to post everyday I’d get frustrated and stop enjoying it so much. I like blogging because I love to express myself through writing and blogging enables me to do that. I also love the amazing and inspiring people I have met through blogging.
my poor computer screen (or lucky, depends on how u look at it) has to watch me eat all my meals infront of it! i say AMEN to everything you say sister <3 been there and back again too many times. i hate being so anal with myself and have so much anxiety that my family notices. they always tell me to take a break and i say "NOOO!!! i have to comment, they need to know im reading!" but when i cant sleep at night and literally dream of bloggers faces, i know its too much. i only ever felt this way back when i used to be addicted to playing The Sims game lol. the best plan of action? read and only comment on the blogs i feel like, then just shut the screen down and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! sure, some people can appear to always be ontop of their blogs, but like we both know, we always burn out in the end and end up in a mini crisis. take some time to yourself and let yourself not comment or answer everything, you deserve that and you will feel so much better after the initial separation anxiety. XOXOXOXOXO <3
I can somewhat understand how your feeling. I can’t empathyze really because I think the difference between our blogs is what keeps that from happening for me. See, your blog is VERY popular Lol! I can see how it would start to take over your life and not give you as much freedom away from it, as it does me (someone with a less popular blog). It’s kind of a lot like really being famous! You are doing what you love (blogging) and you happen to be great at it, but it is making you very busy and taking away some of you personal time and life.
I think it’s really up to you whether you want to sacrifice how much of your life blogging takes up, because you do like blogging, or if you think it’s not as worth the price as you thought it would be. I hope I’m making sense here?! No? Then nevermind……..Haha!
<3 Tori
Aha, I can relate to you there when you say you’re “constantly blogging”. I even imagine myself typing out my thoughts . . . hahaha.
GREAT FOOD!!
xoxo
First of all, your dog is absolutely gorgeous! I love her, she seems like such a sweetie. Feel free to ignore me…I’m just a crazy animal person.
I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling so much pressure, hun. I definitely know what that feels like. I think I feel it to a lesser extent than you, maybe, because I never really had a regular blogging schedule and I have less of a following. But I am the same type of person as you…very much a perfectionist and black and white thinker. And I do feel guilty when I haven’t posted in a long time, and sometimes I do think about giving up on my blog altogether. I don’t do it, because I do enjoy blogging and I love the friends I’ve made (I mean, let’s face it…I would miss you terribly if I left the world of blogging), but still the temptation is there. When you add up the time it takes to write posts, comment on other peoples’ blogs, answer blog related e-mails, and thinking about blog-related things, it is really exhausting and takes up a lot of time. All I can say is that I feel so much better when I just go by my own schedule. And people who read my blog seem to be very supportive of that. No one shuns me because I don’t post regularly, and no one seems to mind. I just have to remind myself of that when I’m feeling tired and lacking inspiration, but thinking that I’m letting people down by being absent. I know for certain that people will always love you and read what you write whether you post once a day or once a month. I definitely will. Pressure will suck all the enjoyment out of this experience for you, and I really don’t want that to happen…so try to take it easy! And while you’re at it, remember not to take things so seriously. I know it’s hard when you’ve been a perfectionist all your life (trust me, I know) but it really feels good just to let it all go. Don’t let your blog and your beautiful writing become a chore. I’m going to e-mail you soon…sorry for the delay. Much <3
xoxo
Funnily enough, I had this same sort of discussion with my mum last night. I write a diary everynight, and it’s become and obsession – OCD. I have an post-dinner routine, and I HAVE to stick to it.
It is a result of perfectionism and OCD type things, but I agree with many of the idea’s you’ve voiced here.
I think you need to blog for yourself, and not for those reading the blog, or just to make sure you’re keeping your blog updated. It should be an enjoyable experience, not a pressure. Maybe the only way you will see that you can go without it is to try it for a while? That being said, I love your posts, so I’d miss them if you stopped. But think about why you really blog, who it is benefitting and whether it’s worth such a strict routine or restriction from other simple joys of life.
I try not to feel guilty if I don’t post for a few days when things get busy. During the late summer and fall of last year when I was settling into a new routine I stopped blogging as frequently as I felt I really needed a break. I think when it becomes a negative task instead of something enjoyable, it’s good to take a break.
I blog throughout the day, while im out, but not to any extremes. I also feel sometimes, that it is a chore and sometimes, its not a chore. If Im tired etc.. then its a chore, I dont want to blog and I wont, Ill lleave it until the next day. Thats what I say to myself “Ill forget about blogging until tomorrow” and thats what i do, I FORGET about it until the next day.
If I am ready to post though, I will and thats that. I usually do two days at a time (meaning i post every second day). I also do my posts in segments which makes it easier, for example, a recovery segment, a “what i have been doing” segment, a food segment, and then some random chit chat from me, I space writing it out, throughout the day, some in the morning, some in the evening, adding to it as I go.
I try and make the whole process simple, easy going, flexible. I dont want to fall into the blogger trap of being obsessed and hating my blog!
Maybe u could try and post about less serious topics and just do chit chat posts, try and make them less perfect. Theres no shame in doing that.
I wish i cud give a magic cure, but alas, I do not think one has been found.
Sorry!
xxx
Aww Kaia is adorable!!
Firstly I’d like to say that even when you do take longer breaks from blogging, you still are as popular as ever because your posts are seriously amazing and readers out there are dedicated to reading your blog because they are inspired. However I know that for you, as a more popular blogger, this doesn’t help you in terms of the pressure to blog to ‘please people’. But even if you didn’t post for a month, believe me, readers would stay loyal to you! Whets more satisfying for people to know, is that you’re enjoying real life.
I find it so fascinating how people with ED or have suffered with ED, have ‘perfectionist’ tendencies. I can imagine how much this affects your feeling the need to blog and the need to please people.
For me, I am newer to the blogging world but strangely enough already feeling the need to check to Google Reader every night and I feel bad and like I’m ‘failing’ at blogging because my perfectionism compares me to other blogs. I don’t post pretty photos or have amazing stories to tell as my life is pretty dull right now and I’m not the most amazing writer. I hardly have any readers compared to you but yet I still feel the need to ‘please’ people when it shouldn’t be like that. I should blog because I enjoy it and feel like it would help at that time.
However, I did join the blogging world because people like you, ED recoverers, people are amazing at photography, come up with amazing recipes, various other reasons, truly have inspired me. I have learnt so much whilst in recovery from the blogging world and I think that is what keeps me coming back for more. I can’t thank the blogging world enough for opening me up to new foods and ideas and almost teaching me about the value of nutrition and I truly believe it is helping my recovery. It’s quite amazing..and what’s more is that I do enjoy writing out my thoughts and it makes me feel so much better to get comments of support and acknowledgement from those thoughts and I truly value that.
All in all, I think blogging has positives and negatives and I guess you have to weigh them up..
I just love your doggie
She’s beautiful.
I always blog in my head, thinking what I have to tell you all, what absolutely needs to be shared. Sometimes I feel bad about not commenting on blogs, or writing up a post, but I seem to be relaxing about that a bit. Posts and comments aren’t good anyways, when written just because of guilt and anxiety.
I’m a new blogger so I didn’t have enough time yet to become addicted, but sometimes when I read other blogs full of food pictures, I wonder if it’s not bothering to take a picture of every meal before they start eating it. You have a whole bunch of bloggers who love reading your posts and I am sure they will all understand if you take a break or post less often, it’s much better than writing because you feel like you have to.
Your dog is so cute, it’s funny that her name is very similar to my boyfriend’s name (he is Kaj like the boy in The Snow Queen fairy tale). Seems like the name was made for the cutest creatures
I hope one day you will show us a picture of you and Ky together, that would be lovely.
when blogging gets to feel like a chore for me i take a break from it, but you’re right, it IS hard. so hard! perfectionism, aaah… do what you need to do for you. maybe you could just post less often, when you feel like it? there’s no rule saying you have to read EVERY SINGLE BLOG POST other people come out with, either. for example, i am compelled to do so but i just can’t sometimes if i’m going to have a life too. to say it’s a struggle is quite the understatement, but it’s a good thing.
your dog is soooo pretty! and i love the words you gave to him. super adorable, in fact probably my favorite thing all day.
I’m glad you brought this up – I remember seeing your comment about something similar on another blog I read, and it’s something that’s been irking me too. With a few exceptions, I read and comment religiously every single day, even if I don’t necessarily post as often as that. I ask myself how healthy this is? But then again, there are lots of people on here I consider friends, and given the distance, the best way to stay updated is to read their blogs. Also blogging has done wonders for my life – directing me towards art, helping me solve problems, and enabling me to feel less alone in a small town where I don’t really have any friends. I never would have met such amazing people if I hadn’t have started blogging.
I always thought I’d eventually leave blogging completely in favour of ‘real life’ but now I like to think of it as something that will always be there for me, even if only as a small thing (once I start college there won’t be much time for it), and an outlet for my creativity.
Your blog is very creative (and I always appreciate your posts and comments), and if it provides a space to explore what you love, then this is undoubtedly a good thing. It might even help you find ways to deal with your perfectionism over time. On the other hand, enjoyment should come first and foremost, and blogging should not feel like a chore.
Sorry that was very long winded and probably not very helpful!
Sarah x
I blog because I like to share, to maybe inspire and hopefully give hope…
Sorry to hear about your feelings, because I believe blogging should never feel like an obligation. Please always remember it’s about YOU, you should get excited and get energy through blogging. Breathe and don’t force yourself to do anything.
Good luck!
xxx Julia (Taste of Living)
Hey Amanda, sorry you´re feeling this kind of pressure. Blogging is on my mind all the time, too but I simply won´t let it distract me from doing what I want to do in my “real” life (meeting friends etc.). In the beginning I would try to post as often as possible, but nowadays I just play it by ear. I have to admit, that I kind of envy those who are able to post each and every day, but honestly: do I want that for myself? No – I don´t think I have enough energy to do so.
You are most important – we do not always have to please others! Sometimes it´s most important to be egoistic and please our selves! I think this is correlated to recovery – seeing the importance of being generous to our ourselves!
I enjoy each and every post of yours, but if you feel this is putting too much pressure on you, I´d rather know you enjoy your life than pleasing us readers all the time!!
BTW Ky is such a beauty-omg!! I love dogs and would love to cuddle her just once
Have a lovely day!!
Thinking of you <3
xoxo Mel
Oh, girl, I can totally relate! Although I haven’t been blogging for that long, I’m already feeling burned out. I know I’ve ditched hanging out/cuddling with my boyfriend one too many times because I just “had to” finish a post or catch up on reading blogs. I love blogging, but like I said in my most recent post, it’s almost like a full-time job itself. Blogging, reading, commenting just suck up all the time out of your day!
I blog because it serves as a haven for me to organize my thoughts, share tips/recipes on food, and share my photographs.
Your doggie is adorable by the way! I am counting down the days till I can get a dog…
I know how it feels to want to make everything perfect but my blog isn’t one of these things anymore. One of my previous blogs was “the big thing”. I felt the pressure to write good posts for my readers instead of writing for myself. If there were no comments after a post, I considered it a failure. If I didn’t have time to post, I felt anxious. I hated feeling like this and one day just deleted everything, wrote a goodbye post and left. I have my third blog now. It is far from perfect but I write whatever I want whenever I want to. I still want to make things look good and write about everything that seems important to me but I don’t write just because I need to have a post every 5 days or something like that. Blogging must be a hobby, not an obligation. Reading and commenting too. I wrote the same thing in my comment last time and I will say it again – your fellow bloggers will be here waiting for you no matter how often you post because they like the person you are and not a certain amount of posts a week. And nothing will happen if you don’t comment on a post someday. Find the balance. Go out, have fun with your dog, meet friends. Live! Then tell us how life is going. Let your blog be a reflection of your life, not life itself.
Ky is gorgeous! What breed is she? Mixed?
I don’t blog out of “duty,” and I hope it never becomes that. I started reading blogs, because I needed to know there were other people like me—striving to recover from an ed. At the time I didn’t know anyone else who had an ed, and there wasn’t a support group available in my hometown. Finding people on blogs really opened my eyes, and I will be forever grateful for the insight and new perspectives that you all provide for me. On my own, my thinking quickly becomes depressive and disordered. Seeing that other people are working towards truth and life with me really helps.
I started writing a blog, because I wanted to develop friendships, help others the way I’d been helped, express my thoughts, and get feedback. Most of my friends and family don’t “get it,” so trying to explain ed-stuff to them is… largely pointless. Both sides end up frustrated and discouraged, and then we’re worse off than when we started. So writing my blog is a way to connect with people that do “get it.” It really encourages me and keeps me accountable (even though I don’t document eats), because I have to “walk the walk” if I’m going to “talk the talk.” Sorry for the cliche, but in this case it’s true.
I’m sorry that blogging can feel like a chore for you… I don’t think it should. It shouldn’t be a “job;” it’s supposed to be a hobby, or a kind of therapy (I have a friend who’s very active in this research, and is a strong proponent of it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Writing_therapy#Research_into_the_therapeutic_action_of_writing). I would suggest… maybe reduce the amount of things on your google reader? I only regularly “follow” a small number of blogs, although I do check up on others occasionally. That makes them seem more manageable, less overwhelming.
Youre dog is too gorgeous! Ahh…just had to get that outta the way.. ;P
I’ve been struggling with the same emotions about blogging the past few days. I truely haven’t had much of anything to write about, yet I feel GUILTY for not posting, despite the fact that it’s my blog – something I do in my free time, not a business or a job or any sort of real, written-in-stone commitment. When something that’s supposed to be a source of joy or release for us becomes a burden or something that keeps us from living our “real” lives, we need to re-examine our relationship with it.
izzyy
xoxoxo
Girl. This so hit home. I’ve actually loved how your posts aren’t daily, it makes them more special because they’re waited for. I hope you can go back to loving blogging, and saving it for part-time and not a full-time job/chore, I love your blog!
I’ve been kind of hard on myself, if I miss even ONE day, I feel anxious and type up a post in the AM. But I like being consistent and posting daily, and not missing even one little day.
But I’ve gotten to the point where I run out of time during my day. And posting a new fella + reading all my friend’s blogs takes a good 1-2 hours out of my afternoon/night. I lose sleep, I lose hubby time. It makes me sad.
Maybe I’ll go to every-other day. Or just post about dinner? We’ll see. I’ve only been around since March, so I don’t want to do anything drastic or give up yet.
Have a sweet day, enjoy every single minute of it!
I used to feel pressured to blog every day… but lately, I haven’t been, and it’s been freeing because I don’t feel like I need to do / create something “blogworthy” every day if I don’t feel like it! But even on those days, it is still there in the back of my mind. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, if it isn’t interfering with real life! Honestly, I didn’t think much about blogging at all yesterday (it helped that I wasn’t stuck in front of a computer), and it was nice to have that break.
Honestly, I started blogging just for myself — it’s easier than writing in a journal. It’s wonderful to get feedback from other people who can relate, but I really don’t think anyone would notice / care if I decided to blog only once or twice a week or whatever. Which does take a lot of pressure off me, I have to admit.
Whatever your ultimate decision, I hope you don’t disappear completely! The blog world would definitely miss you.
<3 <3
I feel like this post was taken right from my brain! Actually, that tends to happen a lot with your posts. It’s like you’re reading my mind.
I’ve been spending way too much time blogging lately! And even when I’m not at the computer, I’m still thinking about it. I think it’s just because I don’t have much else to do this summer, so it has kind of become my summer “job”.
Once I get back to university in the fall, I’m sure I’ll find a much healthier balance between the real world and the blog world. I don’t know how I’m going to keep up with my reader though because I can barely keep up right now! So I definitely know what you mean about the pressure! Sometimes I have to remind myself not to take it so seriously.
Have a great day girl!
I think blogging is sometimes a good intermediary step for people trying to recover from eating disorders; it allows a person to break free from their extreme isolation, slowly, into a more social community. But you can’t be chained to the ED community forever, or even blogging in general. At some point you realize there must be a balance between blogworld & real world, should you choose to continue blogging.
Originally I, too, felt bad about not commenting as much or supplying constant material to readers. But I promise, it gets better. I blog much less frequently now and only on whims that please me, that allow me to be creative for a moment when I feel inspired & don’t have other things to do. I enjoy commenting on blogs because I know how nice it feels to receive a thoughtful, supportive comment from others.
However, blogging doesn’t rule me anymore. I will walk away when I need to, and I will blog when I want to.
I. Love. Your. Dog.
SO. MUCH!!!!!
I don’t even know how you manage to tear yourself away from him to blog at all!
Anyways, I hope you can find some middle ground here. I don’t have a lot of readers …my blog is kind-of just for me to work stuff out, express myself, and be part of a supportive community. I think about it – never stress about it. But maybe if I had so many readers I would begin to feel… “obligated” to them.
Well, girl….we love you! We miss you when you are gone, but that makes each post like a little treat! Maybe you can just limit yourself- Only blog on Wednesday and Saturday?
~Missy
Awww, your doggy is gorgeous!!
I feel the same when it comes to blog, but I have a sort of excuse: I always think that I am not able to write eglish good enough to comment on each post. I think probably everyone would understand me, it’s just an excuse.
But blogging is something that has to be something you enjoy. When you open a blog you don’t sign any paper which says that you have to write every day or comment on every posto. Don’t worry, everyone would understand if you don’t write the kind words you always leave on each blog. You have your life to live, blogging is only part of it if you want and when you want.
I suggest you to try not to think about it so much, just live every moment without thinking about your blog. Maybe you’ll write less, and comment less, we will miss you, but real life is important too. Very very important. ^^
Have a nice day, Amanda!
Xo
Juliette
i totally feel you on this. it took me a while to be okay with not commenting on everything. i can understand that it is probably even harder for you considering how popular your blog has become. but no matter what it is your blog. it is your life. you can’t live your life for your blog.
you are absolutely amazing i know you will find something resembling balance. remember perfection is unattainable. you can’t have the perfect blog or be the perfect blogger. that’s no fun anyway.
loveee
emily
I like to blog because it’s a good way for me to get my feelings out and to get feedback or advice from other people. I’m sorry that blogging is making you feel that way ): I admit, it is kind of hard to make sure to comment back on other peoples blogs, sometimes I just don’t have time but I’ll feel bad if I don’t because they’ll think I’m not reading their posts. Blogging’s a tough job. lol. Anyway, just try to have fun with your blog. It’s supposed to just be an enjoyable past time, not a chore.
<3 Emily
ps: Your dog is so cute!! He has cool eyes, they look kind of red haha.
I blog because I love it but.. I’m in the same situation you’re now facing – I’m losing my blogging mojo. Actually, I’ve been losing it for a long time and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to get it back! It frustrates me because I adore blogging and I love the blog world but it’s like my heart isn’t into it anymore. I’m still going to keep it up in the hopes that something changes.. but sometimes I just want to say screw it and go live without worrying about taking another picture or how I’m going to tell my day’s events.
defs not crazy.. i eat most of my “meals” err….
at the computer
I have not felt much like blogging these past few days. What really got me to blog was because I consider so many of my good friends part of the blog world. I didnt feel like leaving you guys hanging and wanted to share with you what was on my mind. It was more like a blog post to chat with friends. Part of my social life. Haha.. some way think its weird whatever.. I love you guys
Dana xo
http://happinessiswithin.wordpress.com/
poor dear! Take a break for sure!
I blog because I love to write – I also do it because I always feel like such an anomaly in the real world. Here, I can be myself without being judged and I know there are others out there just like me.